Cena Luvanomics

June 23, 2010

I’d like to first thank @SmarkRage, without whom this song would have never been written or produced 🙂

I’ve attached the link for the mp3 file, as well as the lyrics… so you can follow the bouncing ball. LOL As always, your comments are appreciated.

(Click the link to hear the track) “Cena Luvanomics” by @oldiesmike  from the album “Sex, Lies and Spinner Belts”.

So, you think it’s unnoticeable.

Don’t deny-it. You got Cena Luvanomics (x2). Don’t fight it… you
can’t evade it like Hooked on Phonics.

Don’t deny-it. You got Cena Luvanomics (x2). Don’t fight it… You
hoped we wouldn’t notice, when you’re moaning “You can’t see me!”

Whether Facebook or Tweetin’, you always take a beatin’. Can’t lie no
more, you was at his fan greetin’.

Accusations barein’, For proof you dare ’em, you know it’s a spinner
belt that you be wearing.

Marks you make fun of, admit that you’re one of, ain’t foolin’ us
Smarky with your Ric Flair Woo love.

Whether on @SmarkRage or Big G C, you know you wanna tweet “You Can’t See ME!”

Mondays it’s just wrong, when his music comes on, eatin’ Chittos and
Ding Dongs, wearing them orange wrist bans and a green and yellow
C-Nation thong.

With fan-club fees due, got your free cap and T – both orange and
blue. Waving your hand in front of your face, prayin’ friends and
neighbors won’t see you.

Don’t deny-it. You got Cena Luvanomics (x2). Don’t fight it… you
can’t evade it like Hooked on Phonics.

Don’t deny-it. You got Cena Luvanomics (x2). Don’t fight it… You
hoped we wouldn’t notice, when you’re moaning “You can’t see me!”

Spinner Rage was created, over it you basturbated. By the truth we
were elated. Pretend it’s not you who made it, then you delete it – oh
so that’s how you played it.

Your Hardy bashin’ ploy, you get such joy. If it wasn’t for PG – yeah,
I’m gonna say it – you’d have a Cena sex toy.

So I say this to our youth, always cop to the truth, or you’ll end up
like Corey in hand-cuffs, arrested in a C-Nation peep booth.

Now’s your final chance, man, admit to your fantasy romancin’. With
your Cena cardboard cut-out, you dream of ballroom dancin’.

You can’t hide or fight it, it’s no long denialable. Not comin’ clean
with your Cena Luv, Yo fan-boy, is just not viable.

Don’t deny-it. You got Cena Luvanomics (x2). Don’t fight it… you
can’t evade it like Hooked on Phonics.

Don’t deny-it. You got Cena Luvanomics (x2). Don’t fight it… You
hoped we wouldn’t notice, when you’re moaning “You can’t see me!”

Don’t deny-it. You got Cena Luvanomics (x2). Don’t fight it… you
can’t evade it like Hooked on Phonics!

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Compiled Rejected Rap Lyrics from Twitter

June 22, 2010

Today I lost my mind and tweeted some #rejectedraplyrics. In case you missed them (and you should be grateful you did), here they are all in one place. If I come up with any more, I’ll amend this blog. But I doubt I will. I think the John Cena parody is my finale. Enjoy my lamesauceyness!

“I’m like a mix of Adonis and The Blue Meanie. A green olive, without the martini. I rock the streets in my pink bikini.

“My life, can’t be delt. So invisible, I can’t be felt. I’m in denial, just like @SmarkRage rockin a spinner belt.”

“0-1-2, buckle my shoe. 3-4-5, my rap lyrics are jive. 6-7-8, this is my fate. 9-10, I dropped the soap in jail again.”

“I’m like a song, that’s sung a cappella. So refreshing, they call me Mellow Yella. So damn white, like Sheamus, fella.”

“Times are tough, so I offer this track. Life is manic, and that’s a fact. I feel like Howdy Doody high on crack.”

“I’m empty, like an ATM without cash. I’m like Crush, without Ax or Smash. Feeling so lame like a 70s porno mustache.”

“A very strange mood is what I’m in today. Like Orlando Jordan, but not as gay. Like a hooker, who receives no pay.”

“I’m a zero today, there’s no above. I just don’t fit, like OJ’s glove. I wish I was popular, like a free QuickChek sub.”

“It’ll come to an end, the day I die. No escape, I don’t drink or get high. My ego’s deflated, like muscles on Superfly.”

“Chicks dig my tweets. I’d like to invite you all under my sheets. In reality, I’m less of a gigolo than Samuel Screech.”

“Like Dr. Phil, I have no hair. So tired today, forgot my underwear. Life’s tough, get used to it, it’s just not fair.”

“Like a blockhead, I’m Charlie Brown. My life’s a spinnin wheel, going round & round. I’m like Dink, w/o Doink The Clown.”

“Joey Image is Your Italian Hero, cooler than most. But don’t hate cuz chicks dig my raps more than your Big Cock posts.”

“Too tired to care, too tired to fight. Lower than Swoggle, ain’t got no height. Like Warrior’s self-destruction, that’s my plight.

And finally: (sung to the beat of @JohnCena’s “Bad, Bad Man”.) “Your boy’s a lame guy, ain’t got no class. I’m so weak, I can’t even kick my own ass. Lost all my followers, now I’m tweetin’ alone. So hip to be square I gotta rotary cell phone. You cringe in disgust when I rap. A midget Figure-4’d me cuz I was talkin’ smack. I try to shoot it straight, but I hit to the left. At the bank to deposit cash, I got arrested for theft. If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have none at all. Got hired to be a cop, they failed to mention it was at a mall. Sniffin’ Sharpies, I get a contact high. That’s the story of my life, I’m a lame, lame guy.”